I do not have many regrets – I try not to have regrets. I often wish I had done something differently for a few minutes and then move on. It is healthy I guess. It is just the way I am. But there are few things I really regret and they are all interlinked and it is something I can never go back to. As much as I wish I could, as much as I wish I could talk it out I can never do it. It is my cross to carry and it will always be with me.

I regret not spending more time with my grandfather, talking and just getting to know him better. Today my memories of my grandfather are vividly colored by what the world says of him. My memories are strong, I think I know what his ideals were, what his principles were but we never spoke about it. I wish I was more mature and tried to talk to him about everything under the sun. I would have loved to hear his views on religion, politics, his early life in India, his graduate school experience, his first experience teaching, his worst teaching experience, the issues/causes he felt very strongly about, his visit to China, his take on relationships, and much more. Yes, we spoke about many of these topics but I have more questions now.

Sometimes life is just not fair. With every passing minute, my thoughts, views, opinions evolve and I do not have my grandfather next to me to share his views and maybe pass something on to kuttyma.

The 7th year – life goes on