Aunty… Aunty… Aunty.. remember the Goodrej hair dye ad?

“Aunty” seems to be the much dreaded word amongst girls/women. To be brutally honest, I really do not mind being called aunty by kids who are like 15-20 yrs younger than me neither will I mind if they call me by my first name. To me it is just a form of address and anything works.

There is a lot of confusion of “whom-to-call-aunty”. Your classmate’s mom is of course aunty, your mother’s best friend is aunty, your neighbor with kids in the high school is aunty. But there are lots and lots of women who do not fit into this aunty mold. And one cannot go around asking for a lady’s age to determine if the lady in question is worthy of the title of aunty and add to this the fact that some women/girls are very sensitive to being called aunty. I call this confusion “aunty mold” (or mould depending on which part of the world you are in). Fitting an Indian girl/woman into this “aunty mold” ranks as one of the hardest jobs on earth.

I remember this incident from childhood very clearly. Our neighbors (Mr and Mrs.S) worked with mom and I addressed them as “aunty and uncle”. A mark of respect. Mr.S parents moved in with them and I also addressed them as “aunty and uncle” and my mother also addressed S’s parents “aunty and uncle”. I remember S’s mom used to get angry with two generations of women (mother and daughter) addressing her as aunty.

You probably have seen this happen all the time. The aunty title is not really specific and it suits anyone. Currently I am in a setting where I am sort of the odd man out. Married, older than the typical student, I often face this dilemma on whom-to call-aunty. At my dance class, the age of students range from 5 – 30+ and the majority being in the 5-20 category. These kids are accompanied by their parents, typically their moms who end up getting friendly with everyone. At 20+, married and still a student I am not sure what addressing protocol demands. Most kids call me “akka”, “chechi”, “didi” or by name. There are few, who have addressed me as “aunty”. But it is not how I am addressed but how I address that confuses me.

You see, I talk to many of these kids parents. I am at many times unsure how to address them. I really do not like calling a random stranger “aunty” and given most common reactions to the title, I stay away from it. Most often than not, I prefer addressing them by their first name. But as a “good Indian girl” knows addressing a older person by name is a sign of disrespect. There are a selected few with whom, I am really friendly with and they have daughters who are a few years younger to me and I address them as “aunty”.

On the other side, the mom of a preteen is also confused how to ask me to address her. Think back to any conversation (over the phone or otherwise), an Indian mom has with her child’s classmate. It is usually goes, “hi I am x aunty”. But they feel odd that quarter a century old married girl/woman who is also happens to be student calling them aunty.

The complexities of the much dreaded “A” word as I call it. A friend who had a baby girl recently asked, what do you want to be called by the lil one? Is “aunty” fine?

Are you fine being addressed as “aunty”? Whom do you address as “aunty”? What does your aunty mold look like?