Two weeks into February and I am completely drained. February has been exhausting. Things seem to creep up and take pieces of me away. I am often left exhausted and drained.

As I peel back the layers and process my days, I realize there is so much uncertainty and unexpectedness to my everyday. I seem to be constantly challenging the way I think and that is exhausting.

February has also historically been my bleak month. It is the time when the world outside is frozen and the fake reds and pinks come out. It is the time I think about my grandfather and the gap he left in my life. It is the time I want to stop giving and hide. 2021 unfortunately doesn’t offer me that luxury. I am forced to be constantly recalibrating and rerouting the way I see and think. February 2021 is not giving me the time to grieve.

So bleak and exhausting that I need to take a few days to recharge. The weather isn’t helping either. On the positive side, despite all exhaustion, things are good. I love the challenge and the unexpected. Recalibrating and rerouting are things I enjoy, value and treasure. I know an opportunity when I see it and

Planning for vacations, dreaming about vacations, retail therapy and a meal out were always my batteries. With the pandemic showing no signs of slowing down, it is hard to find the energy to fight the exhausting feeling in my body.

Another 2 weeks in February and they are going to be pretty similar I think. I wonder what March will bring.