The past 2 years in Singapore made us frequent visitors to India. It was the perfect age for kuttyma to form bonds with family that would have been difficult if we were struck in Houston. This was one of the major driving forces that forced us out of Houston. I felt like a load off my shoulder when I realize the relationship kuttyma has with her grandparents will be as special as the one I had with mine.

I have witnessed heartwarming moments as she spent time with family. She thrived on them. And then comes the goodbyes. Heart breaking moments. I admit quite often tears glisten my eyes as I say goodbyes and it is not surprising that kuttyma finds it hard to deal with goodbyes.

Here are some ways I make to make goodbyes easier on her as I travel

Inform ahead

Kids are always processing things in their little minds. It is easier for kuttyma to know that goodbyes are coming up. I usually start a couple of days earlier and involve others to consistently keep sending a message that a goodbye was coming up. It does make her sad when she understands that we need to leave and I also find that kuttyma gets more clingy to me the closer we get to departure.

Look into the future

“Child-like excitement” is a term used for a purpose. The prospect of the future is a marvel for kids. They always believe tomorrow is better and amazing. Looking into the future makes goodbyes easier. I usually find it easier when I keep telling kuttyma about all the fun we will have post-goodbyes a great way to make it easier.

Tangible memory

Memories are intangible and kids especially find it hard to embrace the concept of carrying memories. Making memories tangible is a great way to make goodbyes easier. Kuttyma decided she would carry with her one of her grandpa’s tee-shirts as a memory. She clung to it for a few nights and plays dress up with it. It is her happy memory. One she associates with happy times and it made goodbye easier.

As she grows up we have been making photo journals and memory projects to keep us rooted.It is amazing how much stability our loved ones give us.

Keep it short

Keep the final goodbyes short. It is hard enough without dragging it out. Do not insist of hugging/kissing when the kid is not inclined. Kuttyma sulks during goodbyes and she will refuse to hug/kiss. She just wants to get out of sight of loved ones who made it to the airport and we usually oblige.

Keep connected

Saying goodbye does not mean the bond is broken or the memories created have to be erased. After goodbyes you do need to keep those memories alive. Over-active minds see a lot more things than we see and it is quite easy to push memories back. We look a vacation pictures and videos. Laugh at the silly antics and relive the memories.  We also use video chats and conferences to stay connected.

Keep treats handy

Tears will flow. “But I miss them” moments will occur. Meltdowns, tantrums are a part of childhood. I usually have a share of acceptable treats handy to handle such situations. Treats  typically not associated with mom. I also bribe her with a trip to the bookstore at the airport. Like mom, kuttyma is easily distracted at the sight of books. It does help 🙂

How do you help your kids deal with the goodbyes?