September 27 2011

I have taken a day off. Kuttyma had some Doctor visits and right now as she dozes I type this in. From my brother’s apartment, I see workers stringing lights – it is almost holiday season here in the US – Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas are around the corner.

This would have been a great year for kuttyma to enjoy them. She understands and communicates much better and gets excited about things. She would be more than excited to dress up for Halloween. She was a butterfly last year. This year I had a really cool idea for her. Well if you must know – it is a donut costume I envisioned her in. But we will be halfway across the world on Halloween.

It makes my heart heavy. Mainly because I am not sure if I am doing the right thing. I think I have looked into all possible pros and cons but I fear I may be jumping into something I am not ready for. It is a dream come true and I should not be having doubts. But I have them. Not so strangely enough, they all revolve around my 2 year old

Nobody ever said parenting was easy