the huge meltdown
I often wonder how I change suddenly.. one minute I am my usual self.. going around with my chores then the next minute, sobbing all over Even R can not handle these moments, I know how she feels and how big a loss it was for her.
It is almost three years but I remember it vividly , the pain and and the heart wrenching tears are never forgotten. Losing your loved one is never easy and sometimes I wonder if the pain ever goes away. It never does, it just stays suppressed in the heart and then there is a meltdown.. just like today. I was fine, taking a lunch break between classes and then suddenly something somewhere reminds me of my loss and it is tears and pain. I hid in the girls room weeping my heart out and came out with red puffy eyes. I gave my standard allergies excuse and moved on with life. But I know I’ll give up anything in this world to get him back.
I owe him everything I am today and I say a small thanks to him everyday with a small weepy smile … and life goes on…..
I wonder will the pain every go away? Never I guess… I will never stop missing her grandpa and wishing he was here today to see and share my happiness….
I am sure right now as my eyes well up with unshed tears she is whispering, “mamaiyaa I miss you.. you promised me .. it is not fair… I love you and I miss you”
It is almost three years but I remember it vividly , the pain and and the heart wrenching tears are never forgotten. Losing your loved one is never easy and sometimes I wonder if the pain ever goes away. It never does, it just stays suppressed in the heart and then there is a meltdown.. just like today. I was fine, taking a lunch break between classes and then suddenly something somewhere reminds me of my loss and it is tears and pain. I hid in the girls room weeping my heart out and came out with red puffy eyes. I gave my standard allergies excuse and moved on with life. But I know I’ll give up anything in this world to get him back.
I owe him everything I am today and I say a small thanks to him everyday with a small weepy smile … and life goes on…..
I wonder will the pain every go away? Never I guess… I will never stop missing her grandpa and wishing he was here today to see and share my happiness….
I am sure right now as my eyes well up with unshed tears she is whispering, “mamaiyaa I miss you.. you promised me .. it is not fair… I love you and I miss you”
Leave a Reply