This post first appeared at the RobinAge blog

“Sleep is boring,” declares my daughter loudly, frequently and irrefutably. Her convincing tone and demeanour would stop you in the tracks and force you think if you have got your life all wrong. Aged 5, a firecracker and a torpedo of energy she makes me wonder if my baby was swapped at birth. But then that is my daughter for you. From the minute she was born, she hated sleeping. She preferred the action, the drama and reality of existence. Afternoon naps were abandoned and deemed unnecessary by the time she was 2.5.

I have read books, scoured the internet for suggestions, devoured advise from the experienced but to no avail. I just had to accept the fact that my daughter was a bouncy ball – she rebounds and boomerangs back. She can go on and on. Don’t get me wrong, I love my daughter’s antics and I encourage her but as any parent would attest – I often end up craving some uninterrupted sleep and “me” time. I needed my quiet and solitude for a few minutes. To reinvent and charge up my batteries so to speak.

“Quiet Time” is the system we follow at home. When I want a few minutes to myself or time to grab a quick nap, we enter the Quiet Time mode. We started following this system when my daughter was around 3 – old enough to communicate and follow instructions. The rules were simple – she cannot get out of her crib. She can read/colour/play quietly without disturbing. Quiet time toys were kept separately in the toy room – toys that don’t rattle, scream or break into a jig. Activity kits, pretend play accessories and such. Once in the crib, she cannot talk or disturb unless it is very important (This led to many a discussion of what accounts as urgent or important. In my daughter’s world, I learned that the missing shoe of a rag doll is a matter of utter importance and needed immediate resolution)

It was quite hard for my daughter to stay put in one place and the first few attempts were rather disastrous. Soon we turned a corner. She realised that she liked to look at picture books or colour pictures during Quiet Time. She had a pile of books right next to her crib ready to be “read” during the period. It gave me a much needed break once I stopped squirting my eyes to see what she was up to or drowning myself in the guilt sea. In fact the program was a massive hit at home that my daughter asked her teachers at her play school if she can do Quiet Time while her classmates napped.

Today the rules have evolved. My daughter no longer has to remain in her crib during “Quiet Time”. She can move around the house. She cannot touch any of the technology devices (tablets, phones, laptops). No playing with doors or windows. Mind voices only (aka no screaming) and safety first. I have encouraged her to be responsible for her own Quiet Time and take safety into consideration. These moments have been extremely precious and much needed. Siestas, uninterrupted reading time, the burst of inspiration writing spree, a much needed chat session with a friend, a conference call for work and such.

I have learned to cherish these moments with myself without feeling guilty. I brew myself a cup of tea and sit down for some uninterrupted reading time. I know when we wrap up quiet time (usually in 30 – 40 minutes) we will be glad to have each other’s company. I would ohh and aww over glitter and sequins arranged in a blob of glue and called a “surprise card gift”. I would stare at scribblings and doodles and pretend to see elephants and cats. We will hug and move forward. Mother and daughter. Sane and sensible.