We made a 10 day trip to Houston and back. It was a bitter-sweet trip down memory lane. I loved and hated every minute of it. Just 3 months after our move to Singapore we headed back for work. I really was not sure what to expect but I am not surprised that all I feel is a heaviness and millions of unanswered questions.

The logical part of me tells me that moving to Singapore was the right decision to make. But the emotional and the sentimental me is unsure. I am not in tears or sulky. It is just a random heaviness that tugs along. It is the sigh that fills the air as I watch the Williams tower covered in fog. It is the longingness that rips me as I drive past favorite restaurants. It is the simple pleasure that fills me when I navigate a huge cart along the aisles of Super Target. It is the tears that I blink back as I watch my daughter and brother laugh and fight. It is the joy I feel when I watch kuttyma and her bestie A play. It is the dream that fills me as watch the beautiful homes of West U as I drive by. It is the comfort that fills me as I drive on Houston’s roads. It is the realization that I made some spectacular friends as we laugh and catch up. It is the random conversation I have with another Houstonian at the car rental place. It is the simple things that confuse me.

I am grateful that I had a chance to come to Houston – maybe this trip will exorcise the spirit of Houston in me. Maybe not. Maybe it will bring some inner peace. I am still not sure and I am glad I am not the only one who feels this way. R is also going through the same thing and he is much less vocal about it than me.

And hopefully someday in the coming years I will write a similar post about Singapore. The world is too big for a lifetime.