Social media connects me to a lot of people. Akshay was one of them. We started talking about books and dance some years back and our friendship progressed.

We spoke mostly about kid lit books and mythology in dance. Like most people who connect on social media, we moved our chats to DMs and then to Whatsapp. I do not remember when and why I shared my number with him. But it happened and we started being regularly in touch. Books and dance continued to be our main topics of discussion. We did meander – his love for trains and travel prompted him to plan a trip to my brother’s wedding. The trip unfortunately never materialized.

We cheered each other through our reading and writing slumps and shared book recommendations and blogs. We pushed each other and that is what friends are for. I shared his joy, when he added a famous singer to his Whatsapp messaging list and sent her a message. I was there when he planned his trip to Kashi. We were friends .

In life, there are different things one talks with different friends. Grief and grieving process was something I always discussed with Akshay. It started after he lost his grandmother and I could empathize with his feelings. We talked about grief and how the society expects us to “get over it”. We talked about dealing with grief and life after losing a grandparent.

His job and dream jobs and the harsh realities of life, were often things we discussed. We shared lessons we learn along the way and never shied away from the truth. Sharing life lessons came easy to us. We were our own tribe.

The last memories I have of Akshay are of him bringing books for kuttyma – yes he was the kind of guy who brought books for my daughter. He wanted feedback on the books. I promised I will read the books with her and keep him posted. Now, I will never get to do that. I remember the excitement he had on his new job responsibilities. He was looking forward to the August launch and the doors it will open. In fact, his last message to me was about his work.

Chennai life was new and in someways alien to him. He was looking forward to exploring the dance scene in the city. Kalashetra and the December season were high up on his list. He was so excited to be my Chennai neighbor. I remember talking to him about Arun mess and yoga classes at the temple he should go to. He never had a chance.

Life as I have learned is unfair. I still cannot believe he is no more. Often, I find myself reaching out to message him. I feel numb. He had unfinished stories and books – I was supposed to edit them. He had plans for a great dance documentary – he had reached out to few artists to get the ball rolling. They will remain untouched.

RIP Akshay. I hope there are trains, books, paper and pen wherever you are. You touched many lives – mine included. Rest in peace, my friend.